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4/10 Another Ultrasound

April 10, 2018 | 24 weeks

Ultrasounds are supposed to be fun and exciting...something to look forward to. But after the first abnormal ultrasound and then a second the following week, I dreaded having another one, so I put it off for as long as my new OB was willing to allow me to.

Things were feeling so "normal", though, that I really began to think maybe nothing was wrong anymore. I also began detecting baby's heartbeat in a different location on my belly, which made me wonder if maybe baby was moving around, which could only happen if baby's kidneys were working and producing amniotic fluid. I was feeling pretty hopeful, so I went ahead and scheduled another ultrasound.

No good news, though. Everything looked the same. My amniotic fluid is officially zero, but baby has a steady heartbeat of 143 bpm. I don't quite understand how that's possible, but it looks like the Lord is not done with this child yet.

Baby's other measurements still measured behind, except for the abdomen again. Baby's abdomen looks like it will be larger than the head.

We had asked at each ultrasound whether we were having a boy or a girl. The first ultrasound tech gave us her opinion. I wanted confirmation, but never got any. The perinatologist said that because of the lack of fluid, it was too difficult to see accurately. And at this third ultrasound as well, the tech said there wasn't enough fluid to be able to distinguish. So we don't actually know what we're having. It gives me something to look forward to at the labor & birth. I want to know who this little fighter is...this little Davies who, despite the disease and lack of fluid, continues to be a little life inside of me. I had also read a story about a mom who was told she was having a baby girl (with a fatal disease in utero), only to find out at delivery that she had actually been carrying a little boy. Now she was mourning the daughter she thought she lost and the son she actually lost. I can't handle that. I'd rather not know baby's gender than get it wrong this whole time. It will already be hard enough...I don't want any hard surprises.

It's been now 4 weeks since that initial diagnosis of a fatal polycystic kidney disease, and my baby is still here and still growing like business as usual. It looks like baby will be with us longer than I thought.


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