I had a hard time making phone calls to insurance & doctors & the hospital. If I can't have the home birth I had planned on & I have to go the hospital route, I would like to just go to St. Jude, my local hospital. But first I needed to find an OB who would be supportive. One doctor already said he wouldn't take me as a patient because I'm too high risk. So that made me feel rejected on top of everything else. It's hard to make those phone calls and explain the situation over and over again, just to be rejected. I'm sad at what is going on with my baby, but at times, I get frustrated & even angry with my situation, and I take it out on whoever is around me, which 99% of the time is one of my poor kiddos :/
I prayed for a good supportive doctor to take me in. But then another doctor rejected me, too, and this one was a part of a whole suite of doctors, and the only remaining local doctors who deliver at my nearby hospital. Maybe I gave them too much information. I told them it was polycystic kidney disease & it's fatal & baby will not likely reach term & the amniotic fluid is low. They advised me to go see a perinatologist at UCI medical center.
At this point, I was feeling very frustrated and a little desperate. I asked to speak to the doctor directly to hear why she wouldn't take me. I didn't expect my request to be given any priority, but at noon the doctor did call. She called to explain to me why she wouldn't take me on as a patient, and she gave the same reasons: too high risk & I should be under the care of a perinatologist & they refer all their high risk moms to UCI Medical Center.
The local hospital is a Catholic hospital, and I figured they would be pro-life. The hospital with the hi-tech perinatologists that I kept getting referred to is a secular hospital. In all my researching, I came across multiple stories of women who were advised to "induce birth" at the discovery of such bad news. That might be one reason why it has been so difficult to find information online about how this kidney disease plays out. Some moms choose to end the pregnancy as soon as they hear the fatal diagnosis. Sadly, some are pressured to terminate and made to feel foolish if they don't. Since death is inevitable, they're told, why drag out the pregnancy any further? Inducing birth at 21 weeks, even for a perfectly healthy baby, is essentially killing the baby. The baby has no chance of surviving such a premature birth. We will not induce. We will wait and see what the Lord has ordained. We will wait, not because of a pro-life political view, but because as Christians, we will obey the commandment, "You shall not murder."
So with that in mind, I pushed back a little. I expressed to her my concern that I would be pressured to terminate the pregnancy at the secular hospital. After that, she said she was willing to give it a try.
Some friends had literally just finished praying with me when the phone rang, so that was a huge answer to prayer!